11 Subspecies Of A Gamer
If you were to listen to mass media, politicians, and various other groups who are less informed but overly vocal, you may think that the gamer is nothing more than a basement dweller who drinks nothing but energy drinks and eats nothing but a steady diet of Hot Pockets and Cheetos. While this is true for some, there are far many more types of gamer than just the basement dweller. This list contains all but a handful of the many different subspecies of the gamer.
The Fearless Leader
When you venture online into the video game culture, it becomes very clear that there are leaders and followers. Good leaders take charge and have a clear plan for victory. But, that isn't the Fearless Leader. The Fearless Leader is a leader who lacks tactical planning, charisma, and usually common sense that make leaders victorious. Their plans are typically overly complex and make very little sense to anyone other than the Fearless Leader. Everything from the starting engagement to the post-victory party is all in a Fearless Leader's plan. Of course, when everything falls apart they blame the players and not the plan. Should you encounter that particular Fearless Leader again, expect a more complex plan that once again is only doomed to failure.
“Did you hear about the new game?!? No? Let me tell you then!”, the Enabler will exclaim. Always a little too excited about the next game, the Enabler will attempt to get you to buy games to play with them. Even if they know that you have no interest in that genre. Also, Enablers often ignore reviews for a game they have latched onto. What do critics know anyway? They are only paid for their opinion and often have years of experience with games. Deep down, you may even suspect that your Enabler friend is a plant by a game developer in an effort to make you buy more games.
The Twitch Gamer
Fueled by a dangerous combination of energy drinks, sugar, and other substances; the Twitch Game movements are more of a reflex action than that of conscious thought. Left to their own devices, they will stay up all hours of the night playing their preferred game. When the sugar and caffeine crash comes, they will power through it for more energy drinks. They haven't even seen their bed in days. How can they sleep when there are still games to play? A word of warning, try to avoid looking at an enemy in front of a Twitch Gamer. Nothing good can come of it.
From all the different subspecies of the gamer, the Casual gamer is the hardest to identify. Casuals can literally be in any game. While a good deal of many think that the best is to be found on Facebook and countless flash based gaming websites, many others migrate to other games. In truth, you cannot name a game without naming a habitat of a casual gamer. They are a bit like cockroaches. No matter what you do, you'll never get rid of them. Well, short of using fire.
The polar opposite of the Casual, the Hardcore lives for video games. From sunrise to sunset, every possible movement must be devoted to video games. While they may dream of working at a video game developer, they know that it would only cut into their game time. While this subspecies may cross the line into the Basement Dweller, they can be productive members of society. That's if they find the willpower to pry their hands from the controller.
While a Mathematician can be similar to the Hardcore, they do have a key difference. They are far more interested in the math behind the game than the actual gameplay itself. While this love for the backend mechanics can sometimes prove to be an edge, very often, it doesn't translate too much beyond a spreadsheet of why they should have been able to wipe the floor with you.
The Young Ones
Yes, I'm well aware that everyone was little at one time or another. I'm not that dense. Young One applies to a very special type of child. Often found in ultra-violent, mature-rated games. A Young One tends to yell obscenities of the like you have never heard before. Why are they doing this? Maybe it is the joy of winning overtaking them or perhaps it is the anger at losing. But, the only thing you can wonder as you fumble for the mute is, “Where are the parents?”
For some gamers, the game has lost its fun. So, they must find a new way to amuse themselves. For most, it would be change to a new game or take a break. But, the Griefer has a different idea. They want to make your gaming experience as unpleasant as possible. Theyway they do this can vary greatly depending on the Griefer's talents. It can be as simple as blasting music over the microphone. But, some more advanced Grifers may use exploits in the game to gain an unfair advantage. With this advantage, they will do everything in their power to make you miserable. Why does the Grifer do this? Because, they crave attention and since they lack any real skills or talents they must resort to picking on people who are having more fun than themselves. Unfortunately, this is nearly everyone on the planet. So, it may take the Grifer awhile to get extinct.
Unlike its real life counterpart, the Lemming is all too eager to fling itself into any dangerous situation that may present itself. Face a heavily guarded encampment? The Lemming will charge forth. A wall of fire springs forth from the ground? The Lemming will think nothing of it. Count past three while holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch? Sounds like fun! No matter what happens, they will always find new an interesting ways to die.
Relying more on erotica than actual skill to defeat opponents, the Flirt will use their sex appeal and suggestive comments to disarm fellow gamers. Although commonly thought to be solely made up of female gamers, the Flirt can be either gender. All that is required is a sexy voice, a bit of charisma, and the ability to find a good looking picture if their own are less than flattering.
The Tag Along
The Jar Jar Binks of the gaming world, the Tag Along will follow you into the bowels of hell itself if they think that they will not have to contribute any effort. This is usually a combination of laziness and blind stupidity when it comes to how to play the game. While other subspecies of gamer may be able to blame their particular style of gaming, the Tag Alongs are unable to do so. While some may claim that they have a real life and they don't have time to learn how to play the game. In truth it is because they cannot figure it out. The greatest concentration of this type of gamer is the Death Knight class in World of Warcraft.