6 Ridiculous Late Night Products
The glow of late-night television has been my companion on a many sleepless nights. But, instead of lulling me to sleep, I often find myself laughing like a madman at some of the strange gadgets and services being sold. Maybe I'm far too awake to fall for the cheap tricks and transparent acting of the average infomercial, but someone has to be buying these things.
GLH by Ronco
Let's kick things off with a classic. The Ronco line of products has many winners that can be chosen for this listing. The strangest of the line is GLH which stands for “Great Looking Hair”. But, it is more commonly known as Hair in a Can. What GLH does is that it makes you look as if you have more hair by coloring faint or clear hairs. While it claims it isn't a paint, it is in fact nothing more than a powder coat. To keep things in place, you then slap a clear coat on your dome and you're good to go for a night in the town. Let's just hope no one gets mad at you and keys your scalp.
Miss Cleo's Psychic Hotline
Alright, maybe I'm stretching the term product here. But, anyone who watched late-night television in the late 90s and early 00s knows Miss Cleo. For those who don't remember – or had better things to watch – Miss Celo was a “Jamaican” woman who would perform tarot card readings for people. I put Jamaican in quotes because her accent was as fake sounding as any performed by Mike Myers. Whether or not you believe in the supernatural shouldn't come into play here. Just listening to her bad readings and fake accent should have been enough to turn people away. Yet, the late hours must have idled peoples' brains. In the end, she made a lot of money and has moved on to other questionable supernatural practices.
Dual Action Cleanse
If you're thinking that Duel Action Cleanse sounds like something you would use for a clogged up drain, you're not far off from its use. Only it may not be the drain you're thinking of. Duel Action Cleanse is a colon cleansing product which is still sold on late-night television. What is interesting is watching the saleswoman dance around the fact that she is selling a glorified, high-fiber laxative.
But, that isn't the reason why it is a bad product, even though colon cleaning in itself is a questionable practice. One of the ingredients in this all natural colon cleanser is Cascara Sagreda. During my research for this article I found out some rather nasty stuff about this particular ingredient that made me want to focus on it for just a second. Prolonged exposure to this chemical, which is exposure longer than seven days, can cause some rather nasty side effects which include: bloody diarrhea, loss of bodily functions, and severe abdominal pain. That explains why it was initially pulled from the sheaves in the US during 2002. But, health supplements, such as this product, have relaxed restrictions on their ingredients. As such, they are allowed to include this ingredient. Now you may think that seven days is plenty of time. But, this treatment is done daily for a month which is quite a bit longer than the suggested seven day cut off period. But what’s some nasty side effects if it can remove the several pounds, as the infomercial claims, of built up waste in your colon?
Another health product that draws my ire is Kinoki Footpads. But in truth, there are many different brands of footpads which all claim to do roughly the same thing and work the same way. Kinoki is just the brand which currently is the most well known. What these footpads claim is that they can draw the toxins in your body out through your feet, much like how a tree deposits its toxins in the ground via its roots. Now there are a couple things wrong with that. One, I don't think that is how trees work. Secondly, are you comparing healing someone to how a tree “works”? Anyway, what these foot pads do is stick to your feet and turn black as they draw out the “toxins”. The problem is that they turn black when they come in contact with any moisture. So what the pads are really doing is turning black from foot sweat. This is nothing more than a placebo effect! At ten dollars for a week's supply on Amazon, they are expensive sugar pills.
Can any bad late-night gadget list be complete without a brief mention of the Snuggie? I thought not. I think everyone has heard about it by now. But, in case you haven't, let me enlighten you. I honestly feel a bit dirty using the word enlighten when referencing the Snuggie. Anyway, the Snuggie is basically a cheap felt blanket with sleeves. It's often compared to a robe, but this is completely unfair. A robe has a belt that can be used while the Snuggie hangs open like a hospital gown. Completely different!
My Lil' Reminder
When watching infomercials, I like to play a game. I call it pick the misleading claim. While some of the products on this list, such as the Kinoki Footpads, are more bivalent with their mistruths. It is tougher with more subtle lies. My Lil' Reminder is one of those products that is more subtle about how it tricks the customer. My Lil' Reminder is a digital voice recorder meant to help you remember things. On the surface, not a bad idea. But, you get two for ten dollars so you might guess that they aren't so great. Each of them can hold one message and that message can be up to twenty seconds long. Also, they sound nothing like the crystal clear audio the ad provides. To get an idea of the audio quality, visit an old fast food place and use the drive through. Yes, the audio quality is that poor. Overall, they are a complete waste of ten dollars.